Friday, October 7, 2011

Grill for Sale

It has been nearly 5 months since the day that I severely fractured my jaw and acquired my infamous "grill."  When people used to ask me why my jaw was wired shut, I told them it was the result of attempting circus tricks on my triathlon bike.  Unfortunate for me, the pavement won.  People were often pleasantly surprised that I could still find humor in my situation considering that I couldn't eat, talk, or laugh for such a long time.  An attempt to smile would reveal a mouthful of hideous metal and I couldn't leave my apartment without a bag armed with food smoothies, bottle of Ensure as a nutritional back-up, note cards, and my Suture Removal Tray (in case I started choking).  And I was constantly worried that I might run out of "food" and not be able to access nutritional liquids quickly enough.

As the date neared to be freed of my grill, I started joking that I would ask the surgeon to save the wires and metal so I could have a keepsake.  However, I was a bit distracted once I was in the patient's chair and counting down the minutes when the surgeon would be finished dismantling, untwisting, and yanking out parts of my grill.  Upon completion, I promptly left his office and was on a mission to find soft food I could slurp down, before I realized I never did retrieve the small pile of metal that had formerly decorated my mouth.  

But not to fear, as apparently there are "grillz" for sale.  And at a price of $0.75, they are a much better bargain than the $7,500 one I had previously donned (excluding hospital and surgery "installation" costs).  So if I'm ever feeling like I need just a touch more of bling, all I have to do is look for one of these near the candy dispenser machines.

I must admit that I reminisced a bit when I saw this grillz dispenser machine.  And given that I was no longer wired shut, I enjoyed a nice chuckle that such a thing even existed!  If you happen to spot another one of these, please do me a favor - take a picture and purchase a grill for yourself.  And if you really want the full effect, try the liquid diet for a day.  *smile*